i've recently been

finding myself saying things like:

"hi, one for two days in paris please."

"hello, just a table for one please."

"oh yeah, no, you can take it, no one's sitting there."

"okay, maybe i'll come meet you later."

"yeah, i went by myself, it was good."

so much alone time lately. but it really has been good. i have this charging thing that happens when i'm away or isolated, like i'm a battery that can go and can maybe be ready to socialize adequately at some point throughout the day. and yet other times not charged nearly enough. like all the time in the world couldn't buy me some energy. just a bunny i am! i do think i think about it too much though. how do i get around that? to concentrate on not thinking about how you're thinking too much. if all goes according to planned, i'll be moving to nyc in jan. feeling good about it. scared though. leaving everything to just go. and then not really having a choice to be alone or not. just jumping. i'm so tired. i get cheesy when i'm tired. so lethargic. i quit my job yesterday. what am i thinking?! roller coaster. i just want to do music. and be satisfied in doing so. i'm never satisfied. fuck dat shit.

I LOVE BANKSY!

tip toe through our shiny city

i managed to get the time off work that i needed to see the national last night with jordan in sf at bimbo's. we had promised eachother the night before that we would go straight to the bar upon arrival and each take a shot with a beer chaser. somehow the fernet branca and budweiser just seemed necessary for the occasion. the show, in my opinion, was the best of the year so far. there are inconsistensies with that band that i would ordinarily dislike with other bands, but they get away with it for some reason, a bit like ryan adams, but still different. "charm" if you like. and perhaps just plain lovely memories of london and the people there. i forgot how much i missed certain things/nights/person.

Son of a Widow

after some mewithoutYou talk last night, and after realising that some people(ie: kristin, brian...?!) hadn't actually listened to them before, i was propelled to take a listen and tried imagining myself hearing them for the first time. then this song played and i was recalling them playing it live in camden town, it being probably some of the sadder few minutes of my life, and yet somehow still hopeful. simply amazing.

there's a million miles still to go

i think things are just now starting to sort out, kind of.

put a little somethin in our lemonade and take it with us

as of yesterday, one hundred and twenty-five mixed drinks later and after both written and practical exams, i am now a california state certified bartender. bark! bark!!!

parlor match

a new song that jordan wrote is up on both his music myspace page and my personal. he wrote, played and sang all but the few drum bits that are there. great song and melody creating on his part. i'm very pleased with it. let me know what you think.